Change CLI flags for controlling diagnostics for ABI of FIR and JVM IR

- Use a more generic `-Xallow-unstable-dependencies` instead of
  `-Xallow-jvm-ir-dependencies`
- Change `-Xir-binary-with-stable-abi` to `-Xabi-stability=stable`, with
  an additional option to specify `unstable` after a subsequent commit
  where JVM IR becomes stable by default

 #KT-43592

compiler/tests/org/jetbrains/kotlin/jvm/compiler/CompileKotlinAgainstCustomBinariesTest.kt

@@ -685,13 +685,13 @@ class CompileKotlinAgainstCustomBinariesTest : AbstractKotlinCompilerIntegration
     }
 
     fun testOldAgainstJvmIrWithStableAbi() {
-        val library = compileLibrary("library", additionalOptions = listOf("-Xuse-ir", "-Xir-binary-with-stable-abi"))
+        val library = compileLibrary("library", additionalOptions = listOf("-Xuse-ir", "-Xabi-stability=stable"))
         compileKotlin("source.kt", tmpdir, listOf(library))
     }
 
     fun testOldAgainstJvmIrWithAllowIrDependencies() {
         val library = compileLibrary("library", additionalOptions = listOf("-Xuse-ir"))
-        compileKotlin("source.kt", tmpdir, listOf(library), additionalOptions = listOf("-Xallow-jvm-ir-dependencies"))
+        compileKotlin("source.kt", tmpdir, listOf(library), additionalOptions = listOf("-Xallow-unstable-dependencies"))
     }
 
     fun testSealedClassesAndInterfaces() {