Change CLI flags for controlling diagnostics for ABI of FIR and JVM IR

- Use a more generic `-Xallow-unstable-dependencies` instead of
  `-Xallow-jvm-ir-dependencies`
- Change `-Xir-binary-with-stable-abi` to `-Xabi-stability=stable`, with
  an additional option to specify `unstable` after a subsequent commit
  where JVM IR becomes stable by default

 #KT-43592

compiler/config.jvm/src/org/jetbrains/kotlin/config/JvmAbiStability.kt

@@ -9,4 +9,9 @@ enum class JvmAbiStability(val description: String) {
     STABLE("stable"),
     UNSTABLE("unstable"),
     ;
+
+    companion object {
+        fun fromStringOrNull(string: String?): JvmAbiStability? =
+            values().find { it.description == string }
+    }
 }